Decoding the Spark

I have observed time and again that women talk about a spark they need to feel when referring to the first few interactions with a guy. Now I feel the term 'spark' is very vague and ambiguous and that women themselves find hard to define clearly. All they can say about it is that it's a certain 'something'. That's no real help to a guy if he's interested in a girl and she tells him that she doesn't feel a spark. So I decided to investigate this mysterious phenomenon and see for myself if I could come up with any satisfactory answers.

From personal experience and from talking to a few women about this I know that they first and foremost respond to physical cues. The guys manner and body language play an initial role in influencing her subconscious. So the first thing we look at are the visual cues that we give out. What would be construed as positive and negative visual cues then? The very first thing would be the expression on your face. If you have the habit of keeping a serious expression on your face then break it. Start smiling a lot more. The guy who smiles a lot looks like the type who is friendly and approachable and a lot more comfortable with himself and the people around him. Also there must be a reason why he's looking so smug. Maybe he gets laid a lot hmm?

Next would be body language cues. The way a guy dresses says a lot about him. Be clean and wear clothes that are comfortable and stylish at the same time. 'Dress to impress' should be your credo. You can't dress like the average guy and hope to attract better than average women. Make sure you have the body language that says that you are the dominant male around here. Don't be afraid to make big gestures with your hands and be animated. Take up space with your body and don't slouch while sitting. Also make sure that you're not leaning into her but rather lay back and let her lean in. Maintain eye contact but don't stare which means blink frequently so you don't end up staring. Don' t cross your arms in front of you or have a guarded position. Keep your thumbs in your pockets if you have to with the rest of your palm out. That's the best place for them initially.

Be clean shaven or if you have facial hair make sure it's trimmed well and maintained. Also shave off those Chris Jericho sideburns. They're really not cool. Keep you're scalp hair looking clean and trim any excessive body hair.Now that you look visually appealing you've already considerably increased your chances with the opposite sex.


Now for the verbal part of it. A study suggests that 93% of interactions is body language and tone of voice and only 7% is the content of what you actually say. But it's vital nonetheless. There's a 3 second rule that I consider very important. In pickup the 3 second rule signifies the maximum time you need to take before making your cold approach. But I also think that the rule is applicable when it comes to conversing with someone you've just met. I bet there were times when you felt that you've run out of things to say and then the pause just grows and grows and the silence makes things get pretty awkward. So keep in mind that no pause should last for more than 3 seconds in at least the first 15 minutes of conversation with a girl. Either you're talking or she is.

At the end of the day when all is said and done remember that women are very intuitive and they will pick up on signs of weakness. Be a man and do not apologize for your desires as a man. Lead the girl and pretend it's a dance. Be fun, interesting, novel and enjoyable and the girl will have much to offer you. *wink* There's a lot more that goes into male - female interactions but is outside the scope of this post. Much goes into creating that initial spark in a woman as you may have observed from the length of this post and I think these few things that I've outlined will greatly increase you're appeal to the opposite sex. Hey it's worked for me. Somewhat.

As for the women, they would probably agree with me on these things though I wouldn't know how many would appreciate me breaking things down in this manner. And if you'll think that I don't fight fair then you're absolutely correct.