State Control

Now here's a thought. Ever woken up one morning feeling shitty and hungover from the previous night? Everything seems to get worse; there's no water in the tap, the toothpaste ran out, the toilet is clogged, you burn a hole in your pants and you're getting late for work. What a morning! You get to work an hour late, your boss shouts your head of,f dumps work on you that will take a week and says he wants it by midday. You feel like ripping the man's head off and taking a crap on his desk. You end up being rude to your co-workers, berate the peon for getting you tea that was warm and not hot, mess up your work and wish a bomb would go off beneath your desk to rid you of this misery.


Same scenario but this time a slightly different outcome. And so you get off to work after all that stuff happened, walk into the office with the broadest smile on your face, nod to everyone and have people tell you you're looking great, walk up to your boss and apologize for being late and tell him that you'll get the work done to make up for the time lost; You joke around with your co-workers about how the clogged toilet almost exploded when you flushed it and how the hole in your pants reminds you of the grunge look you had way back in college; You compliment the peon and tell him what a great job he's doing and that if it wasn't for him office productivity would fall on account of people not getting their caffeine fix regularly. You get the work done, drop it on your boss' desk and get a pat on the back with the boss' saying, 'what would I have done without you?'


So what's the difference here? ATTITUDE. The same scenario but different endings all dependent on the way you CHOSE to react. What I'm talking about here is something called 'emotional state control' or just 'state control'. Your responses to people and events and the way you influence them with your 'state'. Picture two average looking guys, one who is surrounded by people at a party and they're laughing and enjoying themselves around him and the other stands in a corner nursing his drink. One chooses to be happy and playful and mix around and the other does the opposite. Here we notice how our emotional state influences other people's state. If our state is stronger than others around us then we will influence them with ours and they will in turn adopt our state as if it were a contagious disease. In this manner one can make others feel what one wants them to feel merely by feeling it in oneself first. You can make people love you by feeling love, feel sad because you are feeling sad and so on and so forth.


Here's another scenario to demonstrate a different aspect of state control called a 'state break'. You're at a club and you see this cute girl at the bar so you decide to walk up to her with your new found powers of state control. You smile at her and say hi and she responds and you get the conversational ball rolling from there. Things go great and you've built enough attraction in her for you to go for her number. She gives it to you and you decide to exit thinking it was a great night and she'll definitely be responsive when you next speak to her. You decide to wait 2 days before you call since you don't want to seem too interested. You call, she picks and you reintroduce yourself. The conversation seems awkward, she seems impatient and finally you ask to meet her sometime when she's free for coffee. She says she's going to have to call you back but the tone of voice isn't too promising. She eventually never does and doesn't take your calls or return them either. What went wrong here?


Let's examine this situation. When your in a bar or a club there's a certain 'feel' to the place. The loud music, the dim lights and the alcohol and smoke make the experience surreal. You're in a 'state' and so are the other people there, in the same state as you. This state is very different from your normal life and you go to such places only to be in that magical world where you can be free for a while and experience something different from the daily humdrum. Now what happens when you get outta there? You get out and the state starts to wear off. Eventually you will go back to your normal state and will no longer be as responsive or open to other people's advances as you were in the club. When the guy does call the girl up her state will be completely different from what she was in at the club. She may blow him off even though she thought he was great the other night. Pretty hard but a fact of life.


Well don't be disappointed too much with that last story. The way to avoid the female from flaking is to build an adequate amount of comfort after building the initial attraction so that when you re-initiate contact at a later time she knows you're not calling to continue building attraction so you can bang her but so that you determined that you'll had something in common and may be more interested in knowing her. This is a whole different topic by the way and I may just address it in a different post. This is all I got for now. Next time we will discuss frame control. I promise I'll keep that short.